Choices: Right or Wrong

I grew up going to church and singing in a group with my family. At age 7 during vacation Bible school, I gave my heart to Jesus without fully understanding what it meant to follow Christ. I was taught how to love, make good choices, the right choices.

But at 18, I made very wrong choices. I knew how to run my own life and I didn’t need anyone telling me what to do. At college, I stopped going to church and started hanging out with the wrong crowd. I made new friends, met new guys who were wrong for me. Friends and guys who told me lies and made me feel worthy of their love through friendships and dating. They made me forget about God.

At 24, I married one of the wrong friends. He said all the great things in the beginning and then he stopped. All of a sudden, I felt unworthy, afraid, unloved, ugly. I began to question who I was and I felt like he owned me. Nowhere to go and no way out! After 7 years of torment and distrust, it was over.

I begged Jesus to come back into my life! He set me FREE! I am Redeemed! Praise God! I had to be brave enough to walk away from that abuse with two kids and become a single mom. I had to be brave enough to move forward and to start living again fully trusting God. God and I have walked together ever since. No, it has not been easy. God never said it would, but he is always there.

God makes me feel worthy, loved, secure, brave and FREE. He has forgiven me and I have forgiven my ex-husband. I have also forgiven myself of the bad choices I have made. I am set free from it all because I have chosen to let go and let God lead me. I am set free because I have chosen to surrender everything to him. I am set free because I know I have no worries, just peace that passes all understanding. I know who I am and God tells me I’m beautiful and that I belong to him. He loves me and has great plans for my life.

I went back to college at 32 and became a Teacher. I teach Pre-K students at school. I teach kids at church and at the YMCA in the summer. Recently, God gave the words to write a children’s book. It’s called, “You Are Wonderfully and Beautifully Made”. It is about being who you are where you are, to know your worth, how to guard your heart and how to be brave enough to trust him and let him lead you to greater things. I write blogs to adults and books to children. If I hadn’t chosen God, there is no telling where I would be. I definitely would not be doing what I am today: Teacher, Author, Speaker, Mom and Grandma (Lala).

Thank you, God for my life! I live it for you!

Jeremiah 29:11-12

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

 

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Feed Me!

So afraid of what I’ll say

How it’ll come out,

words to flow

But my head says “no”

So I don’t lose my clout.

I tell God to “feed me”

With words meant for you.

But most of them are about my life

Feeling ashamed of the damage they will do.

 

Dear God:

Open my heart and close off my head

Help me to trust what you say instead.

Help me to say what you need to say

To whoever needs it that day.

Help me to share with the gift that you gave,

Telling others about you and how to be saved.

Help me to love them through words that are yours

And show them your love and how you open/close doors.

Help me to believe in all that you say,

Help me to say, trust and obey.

I want to please you and be your voice.

Please keep “feeding me” your words,

I make that my choice!

 

 

 

 

 

You Are Wonderfully and Beautifully Made

My life—————-I am beautiful! My situations do not make me ugly. I am always beautiful because God made me. He didn’t make my situations, I did or someone else did. Those are ugly, not me! I am always beautiful. God makes everything beautiful.

The times I didn’t follow God were times that were ugly. Abuse, betrayal, lies, broke, workaholic, obsessive, lonely, defeated, depressed were times in my life that were ugly, but I was always beautiful. God was always with me reminding me that I am wonderfully and beautifully made by him and he always came to my rescue. Times when I didn’t need him, times when I was in control, times when I handled the situation, times when I had enough money and love, times when I saw myself as beautiful.

But those times when I suffered abuse and hatred, when I was betrayed and lied to by people who loved me, when I worked all the time, took care of my family and became obsessed with making money/school to change my situation, times when I was alone and lonely, times when I felt defeated and depressed, times when I saw myself as ugly. Even through the ugly times, God was there. He talked to me in the bathroom on my break time to tell me everything was ok when my marriage was awful. He took away the pain of my broken heart when I wasn’t loved anymore by my husband. He gave me courage when I had to raise my beautiful children by myself. He made me brave when I gave my testimony to young girls from an orphanage in Honduras on a mission trip.

God doesn’t make ugly. He protects me from the ugly until I am ready to let him help me find the beauty. He loves me and he made me beautiful! He knew me and loved me before I was even thought of by others. He knew I would have ugly in my life, but yet he loved me, created me and was there to catch me when the ugliness consumed me. He always knew I would seek him and find him. He pursued me all my life; the same way he pursues you!

You are wonderfully and beautifully made by God on purpose, with purpose and for a purpose! Seek him in your ugliness and he will catch you. He will help you see the beauty of the life he created for you! Seek him and he will show you why you are here! Seek him and he will show you the love you have been missing. Seek him and your life will forever be changed. You will no longer be chained to the ugliness that has consumed your life. You will forever see yourself the way he see you: Beautiful!

Psalm 139:13-18-NIV

13For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

16Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God! How vast is the sum of them! 18Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with you.